It seems you’re on two completely opposite schedules to the extent that you’re not even sure who you’re married to anymore. When you do see each other, one of you is rushed, distracted and negative; the other is passive-aggressive, nagging and left feeling unappreciated. Perhaps when the kids are out of the house you’ll just part and go your separate ways. Or are the golden years of your marriage just buried under years of poor communication and unfulfilled desires? There are a myriad of marriage counseling services designed to help you and your spouse get back on track, whether you’re newlyweds or seasoned partners.
For many middle-aged couples, the arguments revolve around finances, careers and kids. If you or your spouse have debt problems, are big spenders or argue over who wields the power of the purse, then perhaps credit counselors can help eradicate the source of your frustration. Often, when we’re strapped for cash, we begin to act out of character and we may begin to communicate poorly because we’re afraid to face the facts. Prioritizing becomes exceedingly difficult if you are living penny to penny.
Additionally, career counselors can sometimes offer counseling for marriage. There may be arguments over retiring, changing jobs, re-entering the workforce after child rearing or not making a stable income. Lastly, disagreements over child rearing can tear at the very fabric of a marital bond, leaving the children to become the unfortunate casualties of such squabbles. A specialized family marriage counselor can help readjust your attitudes and focus, thus arming you with better parenting skills and unified goals.
In some cases, marriage counseling services may begin with both partners committed to reforming, yet the marriage therapist may want one of the partners to seek additional assistance. Mental health counselors are specially trained to deal with severe depression, panic disorders, intermittent explosive anger disorders and low self esteem. All the couples counseling in the world may not be able to alter pre-existing patterns that a person has suffered with throughout his or her entire life. Medication, education and intense one-on-one therapy is the only way to help a marriage where one partner is in crisis. In other cases, a traumatic event such as rape, a traumatic accident or the death of a loved one may signify the need for grief counselors. We’re not always equipped with the tools to deal with everything life throws at us, so these highly trained licensed counselors can provide us with the strength and coping mechanisms to make it through this difficult time, with the support of a spouse.
“Free marriage counseling” doesn’t exactly exist, per say, unless you count that long talk you had with your mom last week. For the most part, you can read up about relationship issues online or check some books out of the library as a “free” solution, although it may be only the first step to arranging more in-depth marriage counseling services. There are many books for the avid reader to encourage better understanding. Try “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver, “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” by Gary Chapman, “Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples” by Harville Hendrix, “Relationship Rescue: A Seven-Step Strategy for Reconnecting with Your Partner” by Dr. Phillip C. Mcgraw or “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most” by Douglas Stone.